


the things we keep to ourselves

by writerlily



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 14:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3491030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerlily/pseuds/writerlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Barry returns to Hogwarts he plans to have an uneventful fifth year, but things don't quite go the way he wants them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the things we keep to ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> i've always wanted to do a harry potter crossover, so i said why not! here it is. i honestly don't know if i'll continue this so i left it at 1/? to keep the possibility of a second chapter being posted. i hope you guys like it.

I always loved spending time with my mother. 

Most of my fondest memories include her and as I stand on the platform with my eyes on the crimson colored Hogwarts train, I think back to when I was seven years old. I had found mom in the kitchen one day. She always loved baking and I stood in the doorway and watched her as she hummed a song to herself. The whisk was magically stirring the ingredients in the large white bowl on it’s own as the dishes in the sink were magicked as well to wash themselves.

Underneath her white apron, she was wearing a pink dress with her hair in a ponytail. Her hair looked like shiny copper in the yellow sunlight coming in from our large kitchen windows. I always loved her hair. I must have made a noise or something, because her cool blue eyes snapped to mine as she pressed an index finger onto the page she was reading in her cookbook.

"Hi sweetheart," she said and gestured for me to come in. I pulled out a stool to the kitchen island and took a seat, resting my elbows on the table and my face in my tiny hands. "Where’s your father?"

"He had to make a floo call," I said as she swiped a finger in the batter she was making and licked it, making a content face, and nodding towards me.

"Guess it’s just you and I for right now," she smiled and blew a strand of her hair away from her face. She placed her hands on her hips and sighed as she studied me. I almost ran back up to my room to play with the toy potions set dad gave me for my last birthday. I knew that look. She was going to ask me to do something. "Why don’t you help your old mom bake some goodies?"

I scowled at the idea. “I hate baking,” I said and mom laughed.

"Is that so?" she said as she pulled her wand out of her apron pocket and pointed it at the whisk to stop it from mixing. She poured that batter into a bread pan then sprinkled it with nuts before popping it into the oven. "You’ve never even tried it. It’s almost like potions."

She knew she had my attention at that. I loved potions, even as a little kid. “It is?” I asked suspiciously, thinking that she was probably lying to get me to bake cupcakes or whatever.

"It is," she nodded and turned her cookbook around for me to look at. I only glanced at it because I still wasn’t very interested. I enjoyed eating mom’s baked goods, not having to make them. "See all of these ingredients?" she pointed her long white index finger to a list of different things. "It’s like when you make a potion. You have to gather all of your ingredients, use precise measurements, and mix them together to get your end result."

"Yeah… but potions are cooler," I tried saying but she just smiled, knowing that she had me. I sighed as I hopped off of my stool and made my way over to her. She handed me a spare apron and helped me tie it around my neck. Then she used her wand to resize it so it fit me perfectly.

"Now we’re going to make some muffins," she said as she flipped a few pages in her cookbook to the recipe she wanted. "Don’t those look delicious, Barry?"

I peeked over at the moving picture of an older woman taking out a pan of blueberry muffins. She smiled so widely that her face must have hurt.

"They do," I nodded as she placed it on the small wooden stand on the counter so it was upright. "What do we need to do?"

"I’m going to need you to measure out all of the dry ingredients and place it into that orange bowl over there," she walked away to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk, two eggs, blueberries, butter, and vanilla extract.

"Can I use your wand?" I asked as I eyed the thin piece of wood in her apron pocket.

She snorted. “Are you of age?”

Well that was a no. I scowled as I picked up her silver measuring cups and read the instructions very carefully. I poured out the flour, baking soda, sugar, and salt in it’s exact measurements into the orange bowl like mom told me to. I suppose it actually was like potions and I ended up enjoying it, regardless of how simple it was. We worked in silence and it didn’t take me long to finish my job so I sat back and watched mom use her wand to blend the wet ingredients together.

"Mom," I said to get her attention and she made a noise that let me know she was listening. "What was your time at Hogwarts like?"

"I had some of my best adventures there," she said with a little smile on her face as she reached over me for the orange bowl. She poured it with the wet ingredients as the magicked whisk mixed it all together. 

"Really?" I raised a brow at her as she popped open the plastic carton of blueberries and folded it into the batter.

Her eyes twinkled with mischief, something so uncharacteristic in my sweet mother, and she nodded. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but why not,” she smiled and tossed the empty carton aside. “Me and my girlfriends once snuck out of the dorms late at night. We went to the kitchens since it’s near our common room anyway. We had the elves prepare a meal for us and we went to the great lake,” she said and she bit her lip, like she was trying to hold back a smile. “Anyway, it doesn’t sound like much but sneaking around hogwarts late at night was always a great deal of fun and strictly prohibited.”

I know now that she wasn’t telling me all of the details of her night out with her friends. They actually went skinny dipping in the great lake that night. It was something I didn’t want to imagine considering she was my mom, but I liked that she told me some a story from her time at school.

"Will I have adventures?" I asked excitedly.

"Of course you will sweetheart," she said as she pulled out the silver muffin baking pans and lined them with blue muffin wrappers. She handed me a small ladle and showed me how much to pour into each one. "You’re growing up so fast, you’ll probably be off to Hogwarts tomorrow," she said giving me a sad kind of smile as she watched me scoop batter into the cups.

"I can’t wait," I said because I was young then and I didn’t really understand the way my mom was looking at me. Now I realize she was sad about me growing up, in the normal way that parents get. "I’m going to be in Ravenclaw, just like dad!"

Mom snorted and that look in her eyes was gone, replaced by amusement. “I’m sure your father will love that,” she said as she took the filled out muffin tray and popped that into the oven as well. She was on a roll that day. “But I think you’re far too ambitious and brave for Ravenclaw.”

"Did you _actually_ like the house you were in?" I asked her as she cleaned up the mess we made with a flick of her wrist and pocketed her wand. The house we lived in was small and there were only three of us, so my parents didn’t think we needed house elves, but then that meant they were left doing the grunt work. Which mom didn’t mind because she always said that it was more satisfying to get things done yourself.

She laughed indignantly and placed her hands on her hips at the tone of my words. "I’ll have you know that Hufflepuffs are the most loyal, caring people you’ll meet," she said with her nose sticking in the air.

Hufflepuff wasn’t one of the greater houses, so I still wasn’t interested, but I suppose that my mom fit perfectly with the house values.

"That’s what they all say," my head snapped to the entryway. Dad was casually leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. I didn’t even realize he was there. "It’s to make up for how boring they are," he joked with a goofy smile as he walked into the kitchen and rubbed my head as he passed by me.

I smiled as I watched him come up behind mom who was looking less than impressed by his statement. She was acting like she was upset with him, but we all knew she wasn’t.

"You are as childish as Barry," she scoffed as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek. I was disgusted at the sight, but now a small smile comes to my face every time I think of it. "I don’t know what you have against Hufflepuff, considering your lovely wife is from that house."

"The colors are ugly," he said and she laughed as she pushed him off. Dad leaned against the counter, watching her with a glint to his eyes. He really did love her.

Mom briefly turned around and stuck her tongue at him. He wasn’t being serious about his dislike for Hufflepuff. He just liked getting mom worked up. We spent the rest of that day in the gardens behind our house. Dad was sitting against a tree with mom leaning against him and a book in her hands. I was off on my tiny broom that only elevated a couple feet from the ground and was charmed to stay balanced with cushioning charms placed underneath me as well. I thought it was the coolest thing. 

That day just seemed so perfect and I always think of it before the start of every term.

A group of giggling girls pass by me interrupting my thoughts and I stand straight. They give me coy smiles and I feel my cheeks redden as I awkwardly smile back and look away. My eyes sweep across the platform as I stand by myself with my carry on bag next to me. The trolley with my luggage has already been taken care of and I hide a yawn behind my hand as I wait for Joe to come back from wherever he ran off to. Auror business, he had said, as he spoke down into the watch on his wrist that was charmed to communicate with other aurors. Iris was already off in the crowd to find her boyfriend Eddie. I was slightly peeved when she said she would be leaving me by myself, but my annoyance disappeared when she gave me puppy eyes.

I spot someone coming towards me from the corner of my eye and I turn around. Joe is making his way through the crowd and I snort at how annoyed he looks at not being able to get to me faster. He’s wearing his heavy, black auror robes, and you would think that people would move out of his way, but they don’t.

"Sorry about that," he says as he finally reaches me. "Some trouble down at the department."

"Everything okay?" I frown at the worry that’s evident in Joe’s eyes.

"Nothing for you to worry about," some of his tension in his body visibly melts as he clasps his heavy hand around my shoulder and the robes he’s wearing swish around his feet at his movement. "Excited for the new term?"

I’m tempted to press him further for more information about whatever is going down at the auror department, but I know it’ll be useless. He’s always tried to keep me out of the loop of things that go on around there and I’m always finding things out weeks later when news finally hits the daily prophet.

"I am," I say honestly as I shrug the strap to my bag higher onto my shoulder. "It’ll be nice to be back at Hogwarts."

"I know you’ll do well. You always have," he says encouragingly and I give him a good natured sigh because I know one of his yearly lectures is about to happen. "Where’s Iris?"

"She already ran off to find Eddie."

"Without even saying goodbye to her old man," Joe mutters under his breath and I snort. He shakes his head to get back on track with what he was saying. "Make sure you do your best this year. Stay out of trouble. I don’t want any owls from your head of house," he says sternly but I kind of tune out.

I normally stay out of trouble so this talk is kind of pointless. He should really be talking to Iris about this. She’s always sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. 

"Fifth year is always the hardest with the OWL’s, so just try your hardest and make sure you set aside some time to study hard," he says in that authoritative voice all parents seem to possess when talking about school and education.

The train whistles signalling that it’s time to go and the crowds of families start moving in a frenzy.

"I’ll study and I’ll behave," I promise as he pulls me in for a hug that I feel I’m much too old for now, but I accept it all the same. It’s comforting and Joe’s been there for me since my parents… I shake my head as we pull away.

I don’t want to think about that too much right now. It’s already hard not to.

"Make your parents proud," he says as he looks me in the eyes and I nod. There’s always this bittersweet feeling before leaving. I look at all of my other classmates, hugging their parents goodbye and I clench my jaw as I look towards the train. "I’ll miss you Bar," he says using my nickname.

"I’ll miss you too," I tell him and he looks like he wants to say something more by the way his eyes have a certain glint to them, but apparently decides against it.

"I’m going to go look for Iris," he sighs exasperatedly as he looks at the people he’ll have to try to navigate through once again. "You’ll be okay seeing yourself on the train?"

"Yeah of course," I wave him away and I smile reassuringly. "I’ll owl you in a couple of weeks."

"Make it more like a week," he points a stern finger at me and I roll my eyes as he walks away. I watch his retreating back until his figure disappears into the thick crowds of people.

When I first came to Hogwarts, Joe wanted me to owl him every bloody day which was impossible to do so with all the classes I had on top of quidditch practice. He always likes being kept up to date with what’s going on in mine and Iris’ life.

I stand in the line of students filtering on the train and stuff my hands in my pockets. I roll my wand between my fingers and practically feel my magic coursing throughout my body. I missed using my wand and at Hogwarts I’ll be able to as much as I want without that stupid law that the ministry placed prohibiting magic use until you’re of age. Soon enough, I suppose, since this is already my fifth year and everyone older than me says that school flies by after that.

"Well if it isn't that fastest seeker alive," someone says snootily behind me when I finally make my way into the train and I almost groan out loud. I know that voice. Don’t turn around, don’t turn around, don’t turn around. "Where’s that annoying little sidekick of yours that you always run around with?"

I grip my wand in my pocket as I turn around with narrowed eyes. Sure Iris can be annoying, but only I can say that about her. Hartley Rathaway is looking as arrogant as ever as he snorts to himself like he was actually funny. He’s always hated me because of the stupid rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor and his hatred has only grown deeper since I’ve just about beat him every time at catching the snitch at our quidditch matches.

"Nice to see you’re finally realizing I’m faster than you," I can’t help but say with my head held high. I cross my arms as we stare each other down. 

His face turns into an ugly sneer and I smirk as he walks past me, bumping his shoulder into mine as he mutters something that's probably hateful in french. Well, that was terribly anti climatic, I think. Some girl bumps into me with a scowl plastered on her face and her ponytail almost whips me as she walks past me and tells me to stop standing in the middle of the corridor like an idiot.

Everyone is in such a lovely mood today, aren’t they?

I shake my head and continue walking. I’m lucky enough to find an empty compartment in the gryffindor section of the train and I slide the door shut before plopping down onto the uncomfortable seats. I briefly wonder where my friends are, but I'm not losing my spot just to look for them. Students pass by the window on the compartment door and I take out my iPod and plug my ears with my headphones. Nifty little things, really, as I scroll through my music to find a song I like. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat as the train lurches forward and the vibrations from the train moving feel oddly comforting. An hour later, I drift off into a sleep that’s interrupted several times by an old woman, who always has a jolly smile on her face, that pushes the trolley filled with candy. The fourth time she comes by, I finally give in and buy a chocolate frog from her.

I’m surprised no one has come and bothered me the whole train ride and when I notice the familiar looking surroundings outside of the window that signal we’re getting closer to the school, I take my bag and make my way to the bathroom to change into my uniform.

On my way out, I accidentally bump into someone and I instinctively wrap my arms around that person to make sure they don’t collide into the wall. 

"Oops sorry," a small voice says with a laugh and when I realize who I’m holding I awkwardly drop my hands to the side of my body.

Caitlin Snow is smoothing her wrinkled clothes out as she smiles at me. Her cheeks are flushed pink and she’s wearing a dark blue jumper over her uniform with a gold ribbon tied in her hair and it makes me smile. She’s always looked so pretty in her house colors and I pocket my hands when I feel them start to get sweaty. I’ve had a crush on her since third year when we were paired up in potions and I don’t think I’ll get over it any time soon as my heart does a weird thump when she brushes a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"It’s okay, don’t worry about it," I say and my voice cracks. How embarrassing. I turn away for a moment to clear my throat. 

"How was your summer, Barry?" She asks politely as she clasps her hands together in front of her.

"Pretty boring," I tell her honestly and I don’t go into detail because I’m sure she doesn’t want to hear about how I spent my break riding my broom, reading books, and third wheeling Eddie and Iris. "What about you?"

"It was actually fun. My parents and I did some travelling," she says. "Mostly around the muggle part of Asia."

I raise an eyebrow. “That does sound fun,” I agree with a nod of my head. I haven’t ventured too far out of England and the thought of exploring more of the world intrigues me. “You’ll have to show me pictures of your time there.”

Caitlin smiles. “I’d like that,” she says. “Do you think Professor Wells will pair us up as partners again this year?”

"Maybe. Unpredictable bloke, he is," I say and she laughs. I like the sound of it. "I hope he does though."

"Me too," she says softly. "We work quite well together."

"Yes, we do," I smile again and so does she.

The train whistle sounds loudly, making us both jump, and when we see the startled expressions on each other’s faces, we laugh.

"Well I have to go," she chews the corner of her lip. "My friends are probably wondering where I am. We all want to take a carriage to the castle together."

"Oh. Of course," I say and I lift my bag up that I almost forgot was hanging on my shoulder. "I have to go change into my uniform."

"I’ll see you later then, yeah?"

"Yeah," I say as she starts walking away. She gives me another little smile over her shoulder. "Bye."

I watch her go and then quickly make my way to the bathrooms to change into my uniform. The familiar feeling of the thick fabric and the red and gold house symbol make me pause to look at myself in the mirror. My mom always did say I was too brave for any of the other houses, but I don’t see anything courageous in me. By the time I get back, we’ve reached the castle, and I somehow manage to meet up with Iris and Eddie outside of the train. 

"Hey Barry," Eddie says as we do that half handshake, half hug that men always do when they greet each other. 

"Did Joe talk to you?" I ask Iris as she fiddles with the charm bracelet on her left wrist.

"Yes and I somehow suspect that the lecture he gave me was longer than yours," she says as she huffs and crosses her arms. I think she might truly be upset, but she laughs anyway, and Eddie presses a kiss to her forehead. 

"With good reason," I give her a wink and she whacks my arm. I bat her away as I rub my arm. For being so small, she sure can land a good hit here and there.

"Let’s go get a carriage," Eddie says as he starts leading us through the crowd. "I don’t want to have to walk to the castle."

As we walk, I start to feel more and more excited at being back. I can always complain about how much I hate it here, but the place is my home for the majority of the year. When we reach the carriages, I walk ahead of Eddie and Iris. I take a moment to approach the large thestral attached to our ride and gently rub a hand on its bony neck . I glance around to make sure nobody is watching me, before reaching in my bag for a small bruised peach. I place it in the palm of my hand and watch as the thestral curiously sniffs at it then takes it out of my hand with a bite. 

I was honestly freaked out when I first saw a thestral. It wasn't at the beginning of my first year, because for some reason first year students are required to take a freaking boat to the castle instead of a carriage. I guess it's part of hogwarts tradition and a right of passage to cross over the great lake. Anyway, I was exploring the grounds later in the year when a giant winged bony creature stumbled out of the forest and directly in my path. I screamed and when no one saw what I was seeing, I swore I thought I was going crazy. First year was already tough enough with what happened back home and I didn't want anyone to think that I was some kind of lunatic. Our headmistress that year had to floo Joe in to calm me down and explain to me what seeing a thestral meant.

Seeing thestrals always makes me feel kind of sad because they remind me of everything that I've lost.

I finally get in the carriage when Eddie snaps at me impatiently to hurry up. It’s a clear dark night so there’s no need to use the giant carriages. This one is without a roof and has seats lined with dark red cushions. I take a seat across from the couple and look up into the starry sky when we start to move. 

I hope this semester goes smoothly.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/feedback are always appreciated!


End file.
